Part 2: Hers

The first time I told him I loved him, I had spent weeks making sure I did. He said it early in the relationship, and because of the distance, everyone thought that it was unlikely that we could love each other. But I did, and when I said it, I knew. It took awhile for us to start saying it naturally, just like it took us forever to call each other anything other than our names. It's weird, though, because the first day we ever met was full of "I love you" and names we never even thought to call one another before. The wall had fallen down. Every visit after that happened in the same way. We never stopped letting one another know. Now it's three years into our relationship and he has moved here, for good, and it was so nice at first. We took advantage of our space. We made love to one another in every which way that we could. We cooked for one another, cleaned for one another, constantly did things for one another. Like all good things, the niceness wore itself out. I find myself growing annoyed with his little habits, such as leaving his toothpaste messes in the sink, and I seem to believe I can escape all of this. I can escape by telling him I'm working a little late, when in all reality, I'm at the store scoping out the condom and lube section as if sex can save us from growing tired of one another. But he has grown tired of sex, grown tired of peeling my shorts from my legs and kissing his way up my thighs. He's grown tired of missionary, cowgirl, everything. Lingerie doesn't help; he doesn't like it. New positions don't help; he doesn't want them. It's like I've run out of things to say and do, and it's almost like he's in love with someone else, but how could that be if we've devoted so much time to maintaining this relationship - healthy or not? How many times do I have to tell him I'm tired of waiting for us to love the way we used to before we do something about it? "I love you" is full of nothing. I feel it all over but now coughing it up from the depths of my throat seems useless. I just want to know if this is worth fixing.